Sometimes she feel like
a skuzzy ole flip flop
in a world full of
silver stilettos, the crystal
studded kind with red
polished toes poking out.
The kind that holds
tiny ankles decorated
with delicate gold chains and
long silky legs that move like
sweet cane syrup over a
hot buttered biscuit.
She works waitin’ tables in a
place where women with
long silky legs dance for a
livin’. They wear spangly
bits and feathers and their
butts move in a way that make
men spend money.
This is the kind of woman her
Mamma say is a hussy.
The kind of woman she wants to be.
~~~~~~
Shared on dVerse Poets Pub.
Charlotte Hamrick 
lol my grama used to use that word…”hussy” 🙂 great write!
http://magicinthebackyard.wordpress.com/2011/12/20/polaroids-of-delilah/
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Hussy is one of those really good old fashioned southern words that you still hear down here. Thanks for visiting, Kellie.
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intersting…look forward to seeing where you go with this…i think we all at times want to be someone our parents would not approve of…
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Oh, if only they knew…..
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I love “hussy”, too, Charlotte. Those stilettos do make the legs look nice, though. I prefer being closer to the ground. 🙂 Nice write.
Happy holidays to you!
Pamela
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Haha! Stilettos aren’t my style anymore, Pam. I’ll leave ’em to those who don’t want to walk fast or be comfy. I hope you have a wonderful holiday season!
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Well that’s dream.none the less I enjoyed your poem and style of writing.
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Thanks, Leah!
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sorry…your comment did post…once we approve it the first time you are good to go…just caught it in the filter…glad you joined us tonight….
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Thanks, Brian. I have trouble with Mr Linky in Firefox on other sites so I thought it was more of the same.
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nice… long silky legs that move like
sweet cane syrup over a
hot buttered biscuit..love this.. welcome at dVerse and looking forward to read how the story continues.. i always wanted to join the circus when i was small..my mom didn’t call this a good idea either..smiles
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This is a nice down home sort of girl song–I like it, and I think there’s a little hussy in all of us that needs to be free to frollic. Enjoyed this much, especially the last three stanzas.
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Wonderful, nose pressed to the window on a display of the other life. The longing and wistfulness so carefully articulated. (Loved the feathers.) Great work. — Brendan (p.s. your handle zouxzoux is the first time I’ve run across my mother’s nickname, given to her when she was a child growing up in Jacksonville, FL. Her dad had a cypress lumber company til going bankrupt in the Depression.)
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Love this! Love this! Love this!
Your personification of shoes, in all their humility or glory, is brilliant. Revelation of social circumstance is magnified by the use of colloquial language. You told a keen story here, and did it deftly, wisely.
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Very fun post. I’m an old lady (at least chronilogically) but it might be fun to try “hussy” on. Glad to see you at dVerse.
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the kind of woman she wants to be – interesting. all that bling comes at a price sometimes, I suppose.
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@Claudia, thanks for visiting and for the dVerse welcome. Alas, mom’s are usually right…..but not always. 🙂
@Brendan, so happy to read your view as a reader. I prefer writing with just enough adjectives to set the scene but not so much as to be over the top so that’s what I strive for in my writing. Cool about your mom’s nickname & thanks for sharing your story! I got the name from an old movie (see graphic in sidebar) but added the x’s because, well, I live in New Orleans!
@Hedgewitch, thanks for your kind words. This is really my first attempt at writing with a particular vernacular so I’m not quite sure it’s right. But I think it’s right enough to get my point across. (Thanks to @Coal Black for the inspiration.)
@Kim, *sigh*!! You’ve validated that the vernacular worked for you as a reader and that is very important to me. Thank you! And I love that you get the underlying message of class.
@Victoria, thanks for your kind words, for visiting and esp for the dVerse welcome!
@Sheila, yes it does come at a price and desiring the bling could be reason for this girl to desire the dance. Another is that the poor and uneducated sometimes have to do what they have to do to climb out of poverty. 🙂 Thanks for your comment.
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I love “hussy” and love being one from time to time. “Your such a hussy.” Sound so great 🙂 It’s always about the shoes, they are what make the woman you want to be that day.
Warmly,
AJ
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